Emotions

Although mentally our emotions control our overall being….. Try and never let your emotions dictate your actions.

 

-Simply AH

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Overcoming Tribulations

Through life we get bombarded with unexpected troubles, weakness, pain, and loss; all in one word, “Tribulations.”  It’s as though you have reached a breaking point and cannot mend your self back together. But just as you feel broke, it is the very reason to know that anything that is broken can indeed be fixed, one way or another.

In order to pull through, you must have faith and hope. You must WANT to return as a whole. I know that it can be hard at times given that every situation is different and everyone deals with circumstances in their own way; but YOU ARE AS STRONG AS YOU WANT TO BE!

I believe that in life we struggle and we are presented with different tribulations in order to make us stronger and to prepare us for something greater. But if we are unable to overcome those different obstacles then we can not move forward to what lies ahead. 

No matter your situation, No matter your pain, Know that weakness is not a trait of you, it is only a word that will attach itself to you as a weight. You have the power, and the strength to overcome. It all starts and ends with you….

Simply AH

Trapped

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Trapped in 2 worlds. An entry to both sides with only 1 that plans out. Door number one is all about what’s meant to be, having a family, but crossing out me. Me is who I can’t seem to find.  Being trapped behind door number 2 not sure if this is what I’m supposed to be going through. Lost split into 2, reaching for an answer in order to find you. Who is you? You is me, a part of me that only myself can see. A rampage beginning fighting to fit in, fit in where it all began. Who am I? I am me. Me sending out a plea, god please I beg of thee. Free me from you and you of me, to be united as one for eternity. Locking 1 door and throwing away the key in order to free me so I can be who I need to be. Will this answer all my questions, clash between all my confusion? I am no longer trapped, I am clear to see, see that it’s not you, it’s only me. Me to be free, free of thee. That way I can be all that is me.

Clouded

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Inhaling the medicine, releasing the pain. Keeping a clouded mind always seemed to keep me sane.

Young, lost and confused…..

I suppose that’s the slogan for most teens….

Intoxicating my body with this fluid only to keep everything lucid… but like I dream I scream when reality sets in, only to be brought back to the mess I was in.

The pattern repeats its self, only until I made a change, a change to better myself despite all the pain.

 

When You Were Away

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Daddy when you were away in Iraq I missed you so much.

I can remember when you called on your birthday, if I’m not mistaken; I was so eager to speak with you. I had been practicing singing to you for your birthday.

I got on the phone and sang Happy Birthday to you, of course in my own way. Man… I missed you so much.

Daddy when you were away, things were not the same. Mom lacked in giving us attention. I felt neglected, she was always in the streets.

Daddy when you were away, I met a new friend my age and we got along so well, but mama met a friend too! (the father)

Daddy when you were away I knew something wasn’t right, mama sneaking around and spending the night.

Phone calls early in the day and late at night, I was young but I wasn’t that DUMB… Putting 2 and 2 together.

Daddy when you were away mama asked me did I like being with him and his daughter and I said yes. She asked me do I want her to leave you. Daddy I was so confused. I told her I had fun with them and I liked them, but I really didn’t know.

Daddy when you were away mama blamed it all on me, gave me an ultimatum… I thought it was my fault that what was broken couldn’t be fixed.

Daddy when you was away mama moved everything out the house. All she left you was a pub table with 2 chairs, a recliner and your clothes.

Daddy I asked her why was those the only things she was going to leave, she just said you will be ok. My eyes started to run and I cried for you daddy.

I couldn’t believe how she could do this to you. She took it all and left you with nothing. Not even a bed to sleep in.

Daddy when you was away I cried and cried. Things seemed ok at first but then they weren’t.

Eventually I lost my way and began to stray, stray away from all that I knew, and only relied on what I saw and was going through.

Daddy I can remember the times you went away and when you returned we were all there greet you and hug you and show you just how much we missed you. We were all happy.

Daddy when you came back, we were not there….. we were not waiting when arrived. I’m sorry…

Daddy you came home to an empty house as if there was no trace of you ever having a family. I’m Sorry

I can remember you came over and tried to work it out, but mama refused.

I remember looking out my window and seeing you leave, you stood against the truck and cried. All I wanted was for you to be alright, I can remember I cried myself to sleep that night.

Daddy I felt all your pain, and I’m sorry. We all went through some things but this is only a part of my story. I love you

Pain (Erase and Replace)

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You begin Sulking into darkness that drags you from the light, pulling everything out of your sight.
Nothing surrounds you but your thoughts and pain…. Holding on to your chest .. Trying to regain.. the strength from within but you can’t seem to hold it tight , slipping from your grip falling back into that pit of overwhelming bliss of all that you’ve tried to dismiss.
The worst type of crying is the silent one they say…  The one when everyone is asleep. The one where you feel it in your throat, and your eyes become blurry from the tears. The one where you just want to scream. The one where you have to hold your breath and grab your stomach to keep quiet. The one where you can’t breath anymore.
So you tilt your head back to avoid the tears from spilling. And take a deep breath and trying to regain.. Shedding a little light to heal the unwanted pain.
Times can be hard but I know you can be strong. Stop dwelling in the past of all that went wrong.
Stress leads to depression,
Depression leads to pain
Pain that is hard to attain.
Start with loving yourself and just being happy with you, having strength and courage to achieve and make it through. ……
God is your light , let him shine through. Stop letting the devil step in shedding darkness to consume you.
Be happy with what you have now and stop letting a cycle of insecurity, stress, and diffidence control you.
One day at a time, step by step… You will make it thorough.  Erase and replace